i think my mom watched the whole time
he shaved USA in his pubs
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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