Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
