my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
