just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize