So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
