; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am puke
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize