so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
