Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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