she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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