so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize