Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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