I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
