I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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