i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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