Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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