I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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