Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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