All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
