Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
