I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
