She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I understand Curling. That high.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
