Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
