can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
