just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
