sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
