He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize