I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
