so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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