If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize