I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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