I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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