Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize