so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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