You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
