I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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