I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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