that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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