And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
