I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
