So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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