Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
