so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
