Porn is love you can see.
It's Friday. Sex?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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