if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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