Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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