All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
