i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
