It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
