i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
