Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
