Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
