dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
