Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize