does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
