His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
