I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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