do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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