My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
