Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
