Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
