my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize