OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
