And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize